dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm sobbing to NWA
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
