Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
