i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize