the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
