Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
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