Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize