The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Randomize
