There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
