I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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