I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
