NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
