I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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