found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i out mim tonsoeep
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