Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
