I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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