People in love make me want to vomit
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
