I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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