You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
