Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
