I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
