Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Shame is for Republicans.
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