Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
i now understand why vodka
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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