you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
