we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
