when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
