If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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