Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
