I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Blood and glitter go together right?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
false alarm, still single
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
