I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
