Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.

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  (949): I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay. http://tfl.nu/h3ep
  Replies (29) Good night (1140) Bad night (3651)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know

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  (416): I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know http://tfl.nu/hsw7
  Replies (2) Good night (761) Bad night (2432)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.

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  (856): Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose. http://tfl.nu/pmmh
  Replies (11) Good night (3789) Bad night (1390)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...

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  (414): I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america... http://tfl.nu/w5je
  Replies (7) Good night (1063) Bad night (3305)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have

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  (601): ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have http://tfl.nu/3y2p
  Replies (14) Good night (5268) Bad night (888)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook

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  (850): i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook http://tfl.nu/q3m5
  Replies (39) Good night (5444) Bad night (2486)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out

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  (573): You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out http://tfl.nu/kgmu
  Replies (4) Good night (911) Bad night (2613)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.

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  (204): There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed. http://tfl.nu/gq2o
  Replies (4) Good night (2534) Bad night (877)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic

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  (217): You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic http://tfl.nu/nxkw
  Replies (2) Good night (2663) Bad night (789)
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  (510): View more from California

  Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.

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  (510): Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her. http://tfl.nu/i4zz
  Replies (9) Good night (2291) Bad night (736)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like

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  (617): My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like http://tfl.nu/dpsj
  Replies (4) Good night (737) Bad night (1865)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  What kind of balloon animal was it?

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  (503): you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor. (1-503): What kind of balloon animal was it? http://tfl.nu/lyo1
  Replies (12) Good night (2050) Bad night (581)
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  (914): View more from New York

  She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.

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  (914): She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head. http://tfl.nu/hrvg
  Replies (5) Good night (1602) Bad night (543)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party

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  (250): your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party http://tfl.nu/pnv8
  Replies (2) Good night (970) Bad night (403)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink

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  (303): And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink http://tfl.nu/e5yq
  Replies (0) Good night (363) Bad night (473)

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