Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??

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  (603): Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame?? http://tfl.nu/gyhi
  Replies (15) Good night (4653) Bad night (514)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.

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  (202): I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole. http://tfl.nu/2lml
  Replies (37) Good night (5272) Bad night (852)
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  (631): View more from New York

  im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets

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  (631): im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets http://tfl.nu/3y00
  Replies (65) Good night (8219) Bad night (816)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse

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  (404): On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse http://tfl.nu/4mlr
  Replies (3) Good night (3014) Bad night (922)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.

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  (917): i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing. http://tfl.nu/nkz8
  Replies (10) Good night (1072) Bad night (3170)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.

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  (905): Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter. http://tfl.nu/3ad9
  Replies (4) Good night (2204) Bad night (1138)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.

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  (573): You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up. (816): Sorry about that. Except for the cookies. http://tfl.nu/ub9m
  Replies (6) Good night (3064) Bad night (732)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.

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  (612): I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover. http://tfl.nu/pxbl
  Replies (8) Good night (3935) Bad night (903)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.

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  (717): We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt. http://tfl.nu/sjgj
  Replies (11) Good night (1977) Bad night (947)
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  (415): View more from California

  There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.

  (415): View more from California

  No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans

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  (415): There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest. (415): No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans http://tfl.nu/liuw
  Replies (13) Good night (4575) Bad night (863)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.

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  (305): I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead. http://tfl.nu/c42w
  Replies (9) Good night (1444) Bad night (666)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.

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  (352): She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later. http://tfl.nu/9nzg
  Replies (1) Good night (1275) Bad night (717)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.

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  (706): Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes. http://tfl.nu/784u
  Replies (3) Good night (1168) Bad night (298)
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  (415): View more from California

  After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.

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  (415): After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling. http://tfl.nu/ibjl
  Replies (1) Good night (768) Bad night (263)
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  (585): View more from New York

  let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious

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  (585): let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious http://tfl.nu/21or
  Replies (7) Good night (276) Bad night (698)

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