just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
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I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
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I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30