Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
