I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
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It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
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It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries