no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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