youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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