oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Sorry about my life...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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