my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
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I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
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So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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