Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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