if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
