we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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