So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
