Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
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Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
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Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize