Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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