You made me cry and you don't even care
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Vodka?
Forever.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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