Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
