I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
