I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
And then my night got REAL pukey
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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