Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
