You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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