I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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