i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Even my vagina gasped.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
