Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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