Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
