Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
