woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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