Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She bit a glass in half.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
