Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
