he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
