If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
