Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
