"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
